You may have heard many tips on getting up after facing a failure. But where are those reasons for doing so? And why are they so important?
We can find tons of material out there with great ideas about how to move forward. However, the reality is that no matter your chosen technique, it is useless if there is nothing to pursue.
So where do you find those motives? Who shall provide them? When and how many should be enough?
Embracing Failure cycle
Anyhow, facing failure requires going through a cycle of frustration, accepting, and adapting. Of course, everyone deals with this process differently, but the primary outcome to look for is to overcome and, more importantly, to remain unbeaten by resentment.
We do not fully evolve if we continue to wonder or complain. Either if we are still emotionally attached to a different expectation.
Everything in life requires movement, including growth. Failing is just an invitation for us to take another step. The first problem is finding the reason to take it, no matter its direction (at this point).
Our brain does not like changes. Failing commonly asks for a change of strategy. That said, feeling defeated after a failure and reluctant to start over is considered a normal reaction.
Luckily, we do not move only by instinct reactions but also by consciously taken decisions. This is where our actions make the difference.
Time and Form Matters
Pressure to get up and continue comes from all around us, including internally.
Even if we struggle with altering our current reality, it is well-known that we must do things differently to get different results. It is also in ourselves that sense of constant progress, and the more we are stuck in fear, overwhelmed, and discomfort, the more we waste valuable time and opportunities to learn.
We decide when is the best time for us to move, although sometimes we need a push from our closer trustable nets, like friends or family, and do not fall under social media pressure; this commonly results in false pretenses by an innate desire to belong.
We also decide what we are willing to pursue after our recovery stage. There is no need to explain our reasons nor to embrace others´ expectations as a must. We own the consequences of failure and the decision-making of the following steps, either when we need some help to deal with them.
Failing is first step toward Learning.
Finding a reason is a trending yet tricky task to perform. Not only because it requires openness attitude but also continuous commitment as it is not only for that first step but for succeeding through all our progression.
Learning is a poetic goal. Ambiguous if we do not delimit criteria for a valuable fulfillment. People say all the time that the good thing about failing is learning. We indeed know not only how not to do certain things but also how to act in specific scenarios.
Its effort is not only for physical or knowledge improvement but also for emotional and attitudinal reactions.
A hard thing to face about failing is that even if we have learned something somehow, we do not ensure not failing again. That does not necessarily mean we know nothing; things change constantly. This time, it could be a new or different variable that skipped from our view last time.
I want to highlight that, as learning is part of the journey of failing, failing again is also part of enriching and reinforcing our growth.
It is not only a first step but one of many steps we have to take to get there.
Moving? But moving where?
And then we learn something, and we think we are moving forward, and it is somehow true because we are leaving that zone behind, but do we know where we are headed? We also could get lost among vague targets.
Having clear expectations of what we want, when (preferably), and how (overalls) will set up the right path and trigger the alarms whenever we are going the wrong way.
How to?
Trust your inner voice. Things feel different when we are genuinely convinced of going in the right direction. This has nothing to do with having a fierced action plan but a confident attitude. The more we ignore the signs we get from our mind, inner body, soul, or whatever you call it, the more we feel defeated with whatever we do, even if we achieve tremendous yet meaningless things.
There are hundreds of strategies, all well intended to be followed, about how to set up a robust, measurable, successful, and achievable development plan. But to stay focused and to survive not only the first but every failure you will undoubtedly face, you do not only need a step-by-step “how-to” master plan but a significant enough amount of reusable, solid, reloadable, and inspirational reasons why.
Why?
So to seduce you with a more valuable outcome for this article, I would use a title like “Why keep moving after failing?”. But we need to understand the reason behind the change of words; their goal is different, and so is their impact.
Furthermore, we need to also switch our mindsets. The how would come quickly once we establish a solid why or a few of them.
Let’s start by finding the light that would guide us on the dark days, the motor that would push us on the heavy ones, and the watchtower for the days of chaos.
Finding purpose is a constant task, whether sometimes we need emotional and supportive motives, some others we need challenging and fierce reasons to persuade us, provoke and propel our attitude out of doubt, fear, and uncertainty.
Having enough reasons to not give up would keep us on track on the hard days and speed us up on the good ones.
Caffe Gabavi (Numen) 